I am sure that you have been told many times during your life to be positive, chin up, just think positively.  I don’t know about you, but I found this extremely annoying at times.

While this advice is well-intended, it can be less than useful and, at its worst, even damaging. This borders on what I call toxic positivity.

If someone feels anxious or worried, telling them to be positive is simply ignorant of their trauma.

The positive thinking approach also doesn’t really hold true when people find themselves in extremes. For example, those who have been through extreme life experiences could hardly ignore their real-world situation any more than they could think themselves positively out of that situation.

Because we live a life of generalised trauma, the only way that our souls can be recuperated or come close to being healed is to work outside the constructs of society and own the trauma. This means one must be the trauma in order to then dissolve it, to grow the senses of self robust enough to cradle the trauma and all of its sharp edges. Over time the edges will wear, and the self will grow so the trauma suffered will eventually seem as though it has diminished in comparison to the ever-present growth.

My approach and preferred way of thinking is to initially set your intention and tone with openness and reverence, then intentionally regularly showing up for emotional processing every 4 – 7 days, and if this is too much, just take a break.

If you show up with the right mindset and commit this, over time, with the right environment and support, you will give your inner spirit the space it requires to heal and allow, the mind to repair and create healthy neurological pathways while the heart of your higher self finds peace. Over time developing a lasting foundation of acceptance and happiness and with a healthy sense of robust emotional intelligence.