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What the hell am I saying here?

It’s hard for me to comprehend as well, probably because, as a person who has suffered from infant separation, I’m at a significant disadvantage.

Let me first explain a few things.

Universal consciousness

Universal consciousness is a state of awareness in which the individual consciousness becomes one with the universe. Universal consciousness is sometimes called the universal mind, especially in non-yoga contexts. It is what connects all existence. In yoga, it is the true Self, which transcends space and time.

Spiritual Awakening

Spiritual Awakening is a simultaneous increase of Expanding Consciousness that occurs when our spiritual-energetic bodies connect into our physical bodies. Enlightenment is the “full comprehension of a situation”. In the Western world, the concept of enlightenment in a religious context acquired a romantic meaning. It has become synonymous with self-realisation and the true self, which is regarded as a substantial essence that can be corrupted by social conditioning.

The Illusion of Separation

Candace van Dell (Spiritual Coach, Author, Speaker) – Contributor for Huffpost suggests “The illusion of separation is what continues to keep us away from our authentic self. We see others as more powerful or less worthy but it is all just a mirror of our need to maintain the false self. I became free of the illusion when I reclaimed those parts of myself I left behind as a little girl. This was never anything broken that needed to be fixed, just something hurting that needed to be healed. The belief in lack, as well as the belief in grandeur, are what keep us in the illusion of being separate from others and reflect the separation we have feared within ourselves.”

From an article by EP McKnight, MEd (actress and writer) – How the Virtual Play is the New Way for the New Day

Social isolation breeds separation but not virtually. Staying connected is paramount because we are all in this together. There are many ways of staying together and being in touch without being in the same space or the same proximity as another. Many are seeking ways to stay in touch with families, friends and business-wise globally.

Being socially isolated doesn’t mean you can not connect with others, just that a new way of connecting is more readily available. Many of these ways to connect are right at your fingertips.

From a spiritual and social standpoint, they’re both partially incorrect and here’s why…

Infant Separation

A sudden and lasting separation from a parent can permanently alter brain development and structure. So to say that there was “never anything broken” does not apply. At birth, the brain is the most underdeveloped organ in our body. It takes up until our mid-20s for our brains to fully mature. Any serious and prolonged adversity, such as a sudden, unexpected and lasting separation from a caretaker is extremely bad, and unexpected and lasting separation from the inherent connection to a biological mother is 100 per cent catastrophic. One changes the structure of the developing brain over a short space of time. The other changes the structure of the developing brain, breaking it instantaneously. Separation damages a child’s ability to process emotion and leaves scars that are profound and lifelong. If these issues are left untreated or ignored the issues and related traumas multiply and increase in intensity.

Bessel van der Kolk pointed this out in his book “The Body Keeps the Score” it seems so obvious; mothers and the primary caregivers around a child are the sources of safety and security in the normal course of events.

“Being able to feel safe with other people is probably the most important aspect of mental health; safe connections are fundamental to meaningful and satisfying lives.” 

Bessel van der Kolk 

Take adoption, for example, the current most prominent social narrative believes that a child does not remember anything, yes this may be true however their bodies remember EVERYTHING! It just doesn’t end there, we have to ask how does this play out? As an adoptee separation breeds isolation, saying we are all in this together is a falsehood. Yes, I may be taking EP McKnight out of context however the reality is that in the era of covid, adoptees have had to deal with isolation and separation for multiple decades or more, rather than multiple years without acknowledgement of their true experience while being gaslit by society.

Adoption is the legal enforcement of social distancing from kin for life.

It seems like any time adoptees want to know their first family or learn about the birth culture they came from, it can turn into a sense of betrayal. Like They’re supposed to choose between this life that they were born into and the life they were adopted into on top of dealing with the ongoing effects and trauma of separation. This severing is so abrupt that the adoptee loses all sense of who they are, who they were meant to be and who they were supposed to be without any prior recognition or reference. Many seeking to connect are completely lost. Lost in their identity, lost in their trauma and lost in their ability to assimilate into society.

Adoptees can literally write the bible about separation. If adoption truly existed for the best interest of the child, money would not be involved, secrecy would never be encouraged, identities would never be changed, records would never be sealed, reunification would always be first priority and society would listen to those who are most affected, adoptees.

In all this, adoptees simply aren’t given the space, understanding or support to fully come to terms with what has happened to them. Before you say “but way about …” The standard orphan argument just doesn’t stack up. Reuters notes a statistic that “An estimated 8 million children live in orphanages and other institutions worldwide, but 80 per cent are not orphans”. Also, history is full of failed horrific social experiments of witch babies are separated from their heritage through illegal adoptions and in some cases killed. For example:

Bon Secours Mother and Baby Home

Canadian First Nation Sixties Scoop

Forced adoption – UK & Australia

Oranga Tamariki Baby Uplifts – New Zealand

Tennessee Children’s Home Society – USA

Just to name a few, many other countries such as India, Russia, Spain, the EU & parts of Asia also participate in similar ways. There are still residual social mechanisms at play that focus on the continuation of separation for the benefit of fulfilling eogic needs rather than focusing on assisting people in need to find and come to peace with their truth. It’s obvious there is a worldwide denial of the hidden war against mother and child.

“The abuse and subjugation of women and girls is the most pervasive and unaddressed human rights violation on Earth.”

Former US President Jimmy Carter

Perennialism

Perennialism is a perspective within the philosophy of religion that views each of the world’s religious traditions as sharing a single, universal truth on which foundation all religious knowledge and doctrine have grown. According to this view, each world religion, including but not limited to Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, Taoism, Confucianism, Shinto, Sikhism, and Buddhism, is an interpretation of this universal truth adapted to cater for the psychological, intellectual, and social needs of a given culture of a given period of history.

Ascension & Enlightenment

“People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own soul. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.”

Carl Jung

Ascension or enlightenment is typically known as the dissolution of the ego. Ego death is the full understanding and letting go of all addictions, attachments and bonds in this life. Adoption creates various embedded attachment issues immediately from birth. The classic “Seven Core Issues in Adoption,” published in the early 1980s, outlined the seven lifelong issues experienced by all members of the adoption triad: loss, rejection, guilt and shame, grief, identity, intimacy, and mastery/control.

For an adoptee to achieve enlightenment they must deal with the karma offloaded on to them from their biological family and face their own personal diaspora. This makes it virtually impossible to active equanimity because they are mentally, emotionally and socially stuck in a perpetual state of fight or flight.

How are adoptees supposed to face their imposed karma and process trauma while being expected to perpetuate a lie in order to keep others happy?

As far as the question… “Is separation an illusion from the eyes of an infant facing trauma?” The answer. No!

Trauma can seriously disrupt important aspects of development and connection leaving the child so shocked and frozen that it’s almost impossible to recover. Adoptees have no reference to a previously experienced “Normal State”. They face THE MOST horrendous experience an infant could ever experience Immediately at birth freezing them in their developmental tracks, shattering their “reality” forever. Awakening only comes after their world falls apart yet again years later IF they question what has happened to them in order to heal. During this time it’s extremely common for the very people tasked with looking after them to abandon them because they just don’t want to hear it. Ultimately creating a new reality they simply can’t continue to live in.

Can you imagine trying to resolve that?

Solution

The Stewardship Model offers a safe warm, loving support family with “CONTINUITY” in relationships for a lifetime.

Stewardship respects a child’s identity. The stewardship model supports family contact and arbitrates for it and does not rely on the goodwill of the parties involved. The Stewardship family does not try to replace the child’s family. The stewardship model does not change the child’s true Identity. A stewardship model does not cancel the child’s Original Birth Certificate. A stewardship model does not produce a new Birth Certificate that states non-biological people gave birth to them. A stewardship model offers a lifelong warm and loving supportive family that does not try to graft the child onto a genetic stranger’s family tree. A stewardship model does not change the child’s name. A stewardship model would introduce Welfare checks to be carried out on all care for children in private homes.

More information here

Adoptees require complete understanding, time, more time, and a safe space to fully process their trauma, be it in an understanding family, or in society in general, preferably both. Anything less is psychosocial abuse that guarantees a complete disenfranchisement and disconnection from society itself.

Recommended Reading and Listening

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Introduction

Stress is everywhere. You will be able to find shadows of it in the various tasks and chores that you have to carry out, be it at the workplace or at home. Although everyone is familiar with it, not many will be able to explain what it actually is. So what is stress? Well, stress is actually how your body responds to various situations in your life. This may refer to the tension you feel when you have just relocated to a new neighbourhood or even a different country, and you are trying to adjust to the changes in your life. You may also feel stressed when something that you are unprepared for occurs. As such, you may panic or find yourself easily agitated by trivial matters. If you constantly feel stressed and distressed, then it is definitely time for you to learn how to manage your level of stress so as to prevent it from taking a toll on your wellbeing. 

Of course, stress does not necessarily have to be bad. This is because appropriate amounts of stress can actually be a good source of motivation. It will drive you to strive harder to achieve your goals. 

The first step to managing stress is probably regulating your thoughts and reorganising your life. This will help you to feel better and approach everything with a positive outlook. From listening to music to talking it out with your family and friends, there are numerous ways of managing stress. There are no wrong or right ways to deal with stress. If something does not work for you, then it may simply be not suitable for you. You should not let that stop you. Instead, try out the different methods until you find one that is best for you.

If you would like to learn more about managing your stress, do make sure that you read on.

What Is Stress Management & Its Side Effects?

Stress is something that everyone has to deal with in day to day lives. Every minute of each day, you may be experiencing different levels of stress, without even noticing it. However, when it rises above a threshold level, you will start to feel anxiety. You may also be easily agitated or feel fatigued due to the stress you are experiencing. As such, during such situations, you will feel prompted to look for ways to relax or unwind. 

Since you can never get rid of stress permanently, it is important for you to employ good stress management techniques, so that you will be able to deal with it on a daily basis. Aside from that, you will also be able to respond better in stressful situations, whether at home or at the office. 

One of the best ways through which you can manage stress would be to maintain a healthy lifestyle. To achieve this, you can try to do a bit of exercise every day, so that you will be able to relieve your stress by using it as a source of energy. This does not necessarily mean that you need to go to your gym on a daily basis. All you have to do is gradually increase the number of physical activities you do every day, especially if you have not been getting regular exercise for quite some time now. Abrupt changes in your lifestyle may cause you to overexert your body, so you should try to slowly ease yourself into getting used to an exercise routine. 

To start it off, you can do a few minutes of walking each day, and gradually increase the duration of time you spend walking or increase the distance that you cover day by day. Once your body has gotten more accustomed to getting regular exercise, you can also proceed to including running and biking in your exercise routine as well. 

Besides having sufficient exercise, you should also pay attention to your diet. To eat healthily, you should eat healthy food packed with vitamins and avoid those that are oily and fat-laden. 

Apart from that, you should also give your body ample time to rest by having at least 8 hours of sleep each night. 

By living a healthy lifestyle, you will be able to deal with equip your body with the necessary tools to manage stress. With regular exercise, a healthy diet and sufficient rest, you will be full of energy every morning and ready to begin your day. As such, you will not feel tired easily even when you have a lot of tasks or chores to complete. Such stress management methods do not have any negative effects. In fact, it will improve your life since you will feel healthier. You will find that it is now easier to accomplish all your goals, making you feel happier and free from stress.

How To Handle Stress

While everyone will find themselves in stressful situations every day, not everyone is able to properly handle stress. As such, when you feel overwhelmed by such feelings, it may take a toll on your health. In order to keep yourself stress-free, you definitely should learn some techniques that will help you to deal with stress.

There are several stressful situations that one may encounter on a day to day basis. For adults, you will be able to identify with the stress associated with deadlines and difficult tasks which your superior has designated to you. There are countless stressful situations that can happen at work. You may also feel stressed if you have been asked to complete a task which you do not feel prepared to. For example, if you have just been assigned to make a presentation in front of a panel of executives at the very last minute, you will most likely feel the pressure. At times like this, you should never allow stress to stop you from doing your best. Hence, it is extremely important to know when you are stressed and what you can do to resolve the problem.

When you feel easily agitated or overwhelmed by the things at hand, you should realise that you are stressed out. To handle stress effectively, you will first have to take control of yourself by taking deep breaths. This will help you to calm down and collect yourself so that you will be able to organise your thoughts. You should also think of positive thoughts instead of thinking about the possible mistakes you will make. As this does not take much time, it will definitely be a great way to manage your stress in any situation.

Of course, there are also times when you feel so stressed that you are unable to dispel it instantly. As such, you may want to try out other means of handling and relieving your stress. For any problems that may be troubling you, you should, first of all, keep in mind that there is always a solution for it. It is just a matter of time before you find the perfect solution. Secondly, 

you can talk to your friends and family so that they can help you to brainstorm and find the answer. This will help you to successfully find the solution. 

For any problems that you face in life, it is always important for you to handle your stress effectively. If you simply let it be, your stress level may rise continuously and eventually cause a toll on your life. Stress can also cause you to lose motivation to work hard and achieve your goals. As such, follow these tips as mentioned above and handle your stress well today!

Why Social Support Is Important In Stress Management

It is important for a person to know how to properly manage stress since stress is one of the unavoidable things in life. Stress is not necessarily a bad thing, as it can also motivate an individual to work even harder and perform better at the workplace as well as at home. However, if one is unable to manage stress properly, then he or she may feel overwhelmed by it. In severe cases, it may even cause a toll on his or her health.

Amongst the various means of stress management, one that stands out is social support. It is referred to the support that has been provided to an individual by the people around him, including your family, friends and the community. With adequate social support, he will feel a sense of belonging and love. This is important because it helps to build self-esteem which helps the individual to cope with stress. If you are someone who easily feels anxious during stressful situations, then it would be a good idea to surround yourself with individuals who are willing to provide you with the support you need. As such, you will be able to get the confidence boost you need so as to solve any problems that are troubling you. 

For example, there are numerous stressful situations that occur at work. When you find yourself troubling over work issues, it may be good to talk about it with your family or friends. Even if they may not understand the situation completely, you will be able to relieve some of the frustrations and stress you feel. They will also give you the encouragement you need to fight on.

Furthermore, when it comes to situations where they are able to help you, they will certainly lend you a helping hand. As such, social support is extremely important when it comes to dealing with stress. It has also been proven that social support can contribute to good mental and physical health.

Conclusion

In conclusion, while it is impossible to completely eliminate stress from your life, you can learn to manage it. While stress may sometimes be overwhelming, you should never let it run your life or stop you from accomplishing your goals. Instead, always try to take control of your thoughts, take a step back and re-evaluate the situation. If you are feeling stressed because you are afraid of making mistakes, take deep breathes to compose yourself. You should also not feel shy to talk about your feelings with your friends and family. With the love and support from your loved ones, you will be able to feel more confident to take on the world. As stress is bad for your physical and mental wellbeing, you definitely should try out the stress management techniques mentioned above. 

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